Ready. Set. Go.

Well, it’s time. I need my prayer warriors! I go in tomorrow morning to Baptist hospital at 10:30am for the surgery and to find out the extent of the cancer. There is still a 5% chance that it’s benign. We are praying for that! The surgeon wasn’t very hopeful about that 5%, but our God is bigger than cancer and therefore I’m hopeful.

The last month has been an emotional rollercoaster. I’ve been surrounded with so many friends and family lifting me up through prayer and encouragement that it’s hard not to stay positive. However, the enemy has done all he can to bring me down with dark thoughts and doubts. My biggest fear through all this was abandoning my family. What if the Lord decided to take me home early? I pretty much told Him that I didn’t want to go home to Him, that my life on earth was better than that. Of course, that goes against what I really believe. The real story there is that I feared leaving my family with no one to take care of them. I need to be the one to take care of everyone. Wednesday, our church and Gaia’s school, St. Bartholomew’s, held a prayer service for me where Father Jerry and Rev. Dixon anointed me with oil. During that time I realized that I was only partially trusting God. I know whatever happens with this cancer that God is going to take care of me. However, I didn’t trust Him in taking care of my family. He spoke to me during this service and for the first time I was at complete peace knowing that whatever happens tomorrow, next year, 10 years from now, my family is in His hands. He will love them and protect them better than I could ever dream of. So now I feel like I’m ready for tomorrow. God is in control. I’m set. Go.