Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Good Day
This morning I woke up and actually wanted to get out of bed and start my day. The day was great. I was happy, joyful, and hopeful. I've had 3 good meals and have an apple crisp baking in the oven right now!! I am feeling the prayers and feel so blessed. Quite opposite to yesterday. I slept until 1pm, didn't eat until 7pm. I was depressed and angry all day. How I felt contradicted how I thought I should feel. I spoke to a friend last night and he encouraged me to worship God during this time. I told him I couldn't right now. I couldn't even bring myself to go to church on Sunday. I hate feeling that way because I know God loves me and is there to help me through this. I just wasn't ready to accept it. I know He was okay with that too. He knew I would come around. :) I did, and it was a good day.
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It's ok to go through all the emotions you're feeling and very normal. My sister went through all this too. God does know your heart, and struggles. He waits patiently with you. So glad you had a great day today...and it's ok to not have a great day, you don't need to feel bad or stong all the time...you're dealing with a lot on your plate and trying to reason your way through it all...You have so many loving people praying for you right now...I lifted you up to the Lord on Sunday along with many others I'm sure...I wish you a restful sleep and another great day tomorrow...mmmm apple crisp, my family's favorite...it is the smell of fall to me :) enjoy (especially with a coffee and vanilla ice cream :)
ReplyDeleteyou have ALL of my prayers missy:) least of all remember i'm Irish...thought that'd at least make you laugh. ahh nyc years ago! i miss you guys and hope to make it down that way sooner than later. be well and best of luck with everything! talk soon and keep me posted.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for MANY more good days coming up. And they will.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it helps when you think about God as more of a Papa. He knows your emotional roller coaster, and he is just going to pull you closer, and hug you tighter, be ready to wipe away your tears, and will forgive and forget all your mood swings.
Maybe this will help for another good day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLXOBlRc4vk
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ReplyDeleteI don't think I ever told you this but a few years after Emily and I were married, I was diagnosed with skin cancer. It was determined to be melanoma - a pretty aggressive form of skin cancer that's treatable if it hasn't spread, but not so easily treatable if it has. Mine was diagnosed as a 4 on a scale of 5 - meaning it had very likely spread (it’s the sort of thing that is really scary to Google – all the stories end badly). After all the tests and the operation to excise a big section on my thigh, by God's grace, it turned out the tumor was completely contained to the skin - no lymph nodes (which they removed a few to check) and no involvement anywhere else. There was about a one month gap between hearing "skin cancer at an advanced stage " and hearing the surgeon say: "Wow, you are totally clear of cancer everywhere else." However in that intervening month there was a lot of doubt, fear, confusion & wrestling with the Lord. So I know a bit of the valley you are in. For me it was mostly the unknown (I can only imagine the increased concerns of being a parent too). Yet in the not knowing, there was a sure and certain thing that encouraged me. You might say my real medicine during this time was the firm hope of resurrection, secured by Jesus Christ’s own resurrection from the dead, which concretely promised the reversal of, and triumph over, the evil so tangibly present in my body - and it carried the promise that the same victory would reverberate throughout the entire creation. Here are two of the texts that I meditated on... the first speaks of the hope of resurrection:
ReplyDelete1 John 3:2 Beloved, we are God's children now but what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.
The second contrasts our present suffering and future glory in resurrection:
2 Corinthians 4:17 -18 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Please know we are praying for a safe recovery and positive prognosis through this surgery - me in particular having borne a similar trial in my own body – and we share together with you the secure hope in the One who will one day make all things new.
Melissa, i'm so sorry to hear about the cancer. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God will carry you through. Love/Elin
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