The Powers that BE

Mallorca, Spain 2018

I want to share about a woman I know.  She's an angel to me, beautiful and intelligent, inspiring me with her courage and her heart of gold.  She's one of my closest friends, and I recently got to visit her in Mallorca, Spain.  The story of where she's been before Spain is it's own adventure.  And the story of where we've been as friends is inspiring to me, as it highlights love and acceptance in the midst of diversity.  She and I celebrate authenticity in each other, and in a society where we so often default to putting a certain version of ourselves forward in our relationships, it's nice to have a friendship where we don't have to wear make-up.

Paris, FR 2000

I met Sarah the summer off 2000 in Paris, FR. We were the only Americans studying at the SPEOS photographic Institute. Paris was like a second home to Sarah and she knew the city well. I, on the other hand, had never traveled further than Canada (especially by myself). So when we met, she offered to spend a day with me and take me around the city. We started early in the day, and over several hours we shared our stories of where we're from, how we were raised, etc...  We initially were seeing each other's "make-up," both in the sense that these were our origin stories, but also in that these were the initial layers before you get to the real person.  Sarah tells me she's from upstate NY, while I'm from a small town in NC. She's Jewish; I'm Christian. She's a Democrat; I'm Republican. She's well traveled, speaking English, French, and Hebrew. I've rarely left North Carolina and can barely speak proper English!  Needless to say, on this first day of hanging out, we quickly realized that we were SO different, and we were both secretly eager for the day to be over so we could go our different ways. We ended the day over dinner and a bottle of wine. During this time we shared our hearts, our dreams, our outlook on life. We shared with each our true selves, getting past the make-up.  We’ve been the best of friends since.

We are still very different: lifestyles, religions, politics, etc. We don’t judge, we agree to disagree, and we accept each other as we are.  Sarah and I have never lived in the same state, but we've been there for each other through a lot.  We have seen each other at our best and our worst. Through it all, we’ve seen through all the make-up and have loved each other by focusing on each other’s true self.  

Sarah and I always encourage each other to just BE our true selves. That is why I have titled my new art series BE, of which she is the face of.  Our society is so hyper-focused on the superficial make-up that we put on and display that it’s becoming increasingly harder for our true selves to be seen. We need to encourage each other to just BE who we are and love each other where we are at.  That’s what love does: it shows up and lets you BE.  Love sees you in a good light, even if we're all looking through different lenses.

Miami, FL 2010

What if we lived in a society where we didn’t feel judged by our race, our gender, our sexuality, our religion, our political stance, our looks, our life styles, etc.? What if we truly lived in a “free” country to feel free to just BE who we are where are true selves are seen? That’s wishful thinking, I know. However, like Mother Teresa said, 

“We can do no great things; we can only do small things with great love.” 

If we take the time to truly see each other, we are opening our selves up to great relationships with a lot of love.  If we're not ourselves from the start, how do we know that we're truly loved for ourselves?  

I'm thankful for relationships like my friendship with Sarah. A friendship that held each other up through the sorrows of cancer, that stood by each other’s side while we said our wedding vows.  Sarah's the kind of friend that slaps a guy for saying something inappropriate to me (true story!).  This is the kind of friendship that travels across the world for a hug and says that you're loved for BEing you.

Mallorca Spain, 2018

Love is about letting someone be themselves, and Sarah and I have that in our friendship.  I know that it's changed me, and I hope others will get to have something like this.  I've heard people say that we need to think globally and act locally, as well as to be the change we want to see in the world.  Celebrated authenticity, kindness and boldly being ourselves seems like a great change to BE.